Friday, July 15, 2016

Titanically Tortuous Tribal Thoughts

As I keep growing - and not just maturing into a babysitter-looking MILF - I find myself agreeing with age-old biases, because - I am finding them to be right.
I'm only wookin' back at my marriages.
A worldly Euro frum girl should be strong and NOT marry a super -studious rabbi-aspirant who lets it go to his head and -think that he's holy.
After divorcing the self-made holy man, the same Euro frum girl should not marry a rich Sephardi born-again fanatic who expects everyone to respect him and listen - to his holy intuition!
And having kids from both of them, not to listen to rabbinical advice, and just think of the ex hubbies as sperm-donating clowns, and now it is up to the Euro girl to fashion the progeny with the best interpersonal manners!
Maybe because I've been so busy analyzing myself - I am still stuck in the babysitter look, - and what's more bizarre - I can't say exactly how many children I've had. Nathaniel is the one I got back as a donated egg. His father is so non-fatherly on the outside, that he is actually is the coolest father-image. And he does not pretend to be anyone. More like an indigent widower, a religious Jack Reacher in raggedy clothes. How could I have had a kid with him? - I ask myself. Then I remembah - the egg donation, a Petri dish, a test tube, etc etc .
Then comes my husband, poor guy, because he also does not remember - who's kid is who's? After helping with the custody battle - all of them are his?
So that's why I'm having panic attacks the minute I wake up - hey, where are all of my kids? Which one is flying to Amsterdam to visit my sister? I have to air express the twins French health insurance paperwork. And they don't sell Chevy Suburbans in Israel. And our apartment in Paris is rented out till after October.
I'm in a wild goose chase with this summer.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Summer's Sentiments

So much time gone by since I started blogging! Twitter and Google Plus got big and probably saw sun set. I remember wondering - why need them? Now I am wondering - who needs them, really? Maybe I have become weally less imaginative. Because - all I need is open my eyes int he morning, or turn around, and there is always one of my kids tugging on my skirt. That means something else for my husband and his imagination, yes?
The cameras on our devices get updated regularly, which  made them foggy focus and not ready for click. That means - no pics! I don't feel like reposting images, or asking my friends for their cam pics. and who needs to see my kids smeared with oatmeal and ice cream?
Speaking of my friendz. They have been great support, be it calling government offices in three countries, or buying good stuff for me in Switzerland or USA, or digitizing my documents and - storing them! Which is important - because of the latest medical news: I have had another baby, and soon after that a miscarriage, which just recently turned out to be an early spontaneous abortion. The only solution to managing it all is good food, being organized, soothing music, and friendz! Even those who live far, far away, in the cyberworld! Thank you and yummy mwuah!

Listening to my favorite HBR1 while blogging: